Tuesday, April 27, 2010

An Hour??

Is there any other place, other than the workplace, where the default time allotted for a topic is one hour? I mean, when all parties are sober at least? What business topic is so utterly pressing that two or more people expect to need an hour to talk through it? Surely it's something complex, with huge market and/or financial implications!! I mean, think about it! An HOUR!! If anyone outside of your workplace approached you and asked for an hour of your time to discuss something I guarantee you:

A) They're trying to sell you something that will require a bank loan
B) They're paid by the hour


C) At some point the authorities are going to be involved

Even better is when one of these hour-long clusterfcks has no real goal to speak of.

2:00 - 3:00 -Meeting to Review and Discuss XYZ Document/Report/Presentation

A meeting with that kind of a subject should be grounds for -immediate- termination and a public stoning. Even better is when the document is not disclosed prior to the meeting! THEN, it's like the world's shittiest Christmas EVER. Just a bunch of lunatics that you wouldn't voluntarily interact with, sitting around in a circle and watching one another "review" a document that reads like an instruction manual for ready-to-assemble furniture. Good job, Beaker! I enjoy your utter disregard of complete sentences or punctuation, and your avoidance of the spell-check feature is so brazen that I fear I may swoon. Momus would be so proud!

I've also learned, through trial-and-error, that any requests for edits, recommendations, or feedback are never sincere. Especially not candid feedback like "have you ever considered a career path that doesn't involve you subjecting others to your idea of communication, you talentless fck?"